The Daily Life of Francis Bonnefoy
by Nao tan
Summary: You were probably not waiting for it, but there it is anyway ! Here's aph France in his natural habitat ! (This have been written by a French person, based (for most of it) on things that actually happen here.)
1. Day 1

Francis Bonnefoy was, unlike most French, a very happy person, so, it's with a big smile on his face that he got out of his house on this bright french morning at seven am to get his daily baguette at the bakery in front of his house.

\- Bonjour ! he said brightly to his neighbor.

\- Tais-toi, il est sept heures du mat' (Shut up, it's seven am), answered said neighbor, annoyed.

Unbothered, Francis crossed the road, already sniffing the delicious smell of just-out-of-the-oven croissants.

\- Belle matinée, n'est-ce pas ? (Beautiful morning, isn't it) he saluted the baker.

\- Bonjour Mr Bonnefoy, ce sera comme d'habitude ? (Good morning Mr Bonnefoy, it will be the usual?) she asked.

\- Vous me connaissez si bien (You know me so well), he answered with a wink.

He quickly after left the bakery, three baguettes under his right arm, holding with both hands a bag of still warm croissants and pain au chocolat (because as any good French person, he said pain au chocolat, and not chocolatine (just thinking about it gave him headaches on most days)). He now had to go to work, at the world meeting center. Sadly this place was too far for him to walk and he had to take the Metro. Bracing himself for the smell, he entered the underground place, now wearing his special "metro face", so far from his usual charming smile. Obviously, like any good french respecting themselves, he skillfully dodged the fare, sneaking into his wagon, praying a god he certainly didn't believed in (in public at least) that the controller wouldn't be in it. At the next stop, a familiar face with very recognizable eyebrows made it's way in his wagon.

\- Frog ! Is that you ? I think i lost myself in that… FraNCe ArE YOu oK ?

Francis watched him with a blank face and did not answer. He lowered his eyes back to his phone without even bothering to take out his earbuds.

\- France ? Are you seriously ok ? You are worrying me.

Faced once more with a complete silence and a few glares, England braced himself and switched to French.

\- France, tu vas bien ? Tu veux que j'appelle de l'aide ? (France, are you ok ? Do you want me to call some help ?) He asked, with a slight accent.

France looked at him with utter annoyance, scrolled a bit through his phone and unplugged his earbuds, his loud music breaking the heavy silence of the wagon.

\- AH SI TU POUVAIS FERMER TA GUEULE(If only you could shut the f up) (1)

The whole wagon started to scream loudly the lyrics of the song, some laughing, some mocking England, mothers covering their children's ears, but still humming the tune themselves.

England was terrified and promptly got out of the train at the next stop, watching France re-plug his earbuds with a small smile and the wagon falling once again in an uncomfortable silence.

\- Never again, swore England. I will never ever again put a foot in this hell.

 **A/N :**

 **1 : This is a famous French song from the even more famous Patrick Sébastien. Everybody knows and loves him in France**

 **English isn't my first language so please, notify me any mistake you find so I can correct it and learn.**

 **Si t'es français(e), n'hésites pas à m'envoyer tes propres headcanons sur la vie quotidienne de notre chère nation, que je me sente moins seule ;-; (et oui, j'ai besoin d'un peu d'inspiration aussi)**

 **Si vous êtes team chocolatine, je suis désolée, ne me tapez pas svp ;-; Je n'ai rien contre vous, j'ai même des amis qui disent chocolatine.**


	2. Day 2

Slamming the door behind him, still mouthing the lyrics of the song coming out of his earbuds, France threw his shoes across the room, swearing mentally he would put them in place later. He put his groceries on the kitchen table and started to put them away. He absentmindedly opened his box of cordon bleu, grabbed the magnet and putted it on the fridge.

\- Nom de… (what the…), he whispered, his eyes widening. It can't be…

Letting an inhuman scream escape his lips, he hastily grabbed his phone, starting a multinational call.

\- I hope it's important, France. It's 3 AM here.

America clearly wasn't the only one complaining, he was just the loudest.

\- YES. Yes it is. You will _never_ believe it!

\- What ? Did you start another revolution ? Groaned England.

France rolled his eyes.

\- Ye have so little faith. Non, way better than that.

He changed camera, proudly showing his fridge, on which a complete map of France in magnet was arranged. (1)

\- I just finished it ! He exclaimed proudly. I just missed Eure-et-Loir (2) and I got it two minutes ago !

Half of the countries disconnected themselves.

\- It took me twenty years, guys. _**Twenty years**_ **.**

\- Erm, yeah, said Germany. Congratulations, France, for this… great achievement.

Beaming with pride, France thanked them profusely, like he just won an Oscar or a Nobel prize, tears streaming down his cheeks.

\- I'll send you all pictures of her.

\- It's not a girl, France. _It_.

\- Do I look like I care, _Angleterre_ (England)? This is my girl, my baby. I raised her with love and attention and she grew up to be a beautiful lady.

\- We all know you're going to throw her away in a few days, France.

\- How can you say that, Prusse (Prussia) ?! Cried France, putting his hand on the magnets like it could prevent it from hearing what Prussia had just said.

\- That's what you did with your fifteen other maps-magnet.

\- But none of them was complete.

At this point, only three nations were left in the conversation, including France.

\- I think you did great, mi amigo (my friend) ! Cheered Spain.

\- Thanks, Spain. I knew I could count on you.

\- Talking about that, since it's only us left, are you guys still up for this year's Tomatina (3) ?

\- Absolutely !

\- I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world !

\- Awesome. We'll see each other next week then. I've got to go !

\- Bye !

All three cut the conversation at the same time, proving once more how great their friendship was.

\- Bon, thought France, pour fêter ça, pizza (4) ! (Well, to celebrate that, pizza !)

 **1: Some brands of poultry put magnet of French departments or regions in their packaging and you want to collect them all. Problem is it's almost impossible to do (I don't know anybody who did), so we generally just throw them after a bit until we start it again now that we have the magnets we needed to finish the first one (that we don't have anymore) and we just do it, like, non-stop forever.**

 **2: A department**

 **3: A Spanish festival, it's basically just a huge tomato fight. I learned that it was all started by three friends that got into a tomato fight decades ago and I cannot not think it was the Bad Touch Trio**

 **4: a catchphrase of the n°1 French youtuber. Francis watch and quote Cyprien on a daily basis, fight me.**

 **Hey, do you guys mind commenting what country you are from ? I'm an exchange student and a game we play is to meet people from as many nationality as we can during the exchange. I personally count internet people in it, and it's not like anybody was going to check, so...**


End file.
